UpGraDinG LiFe ParTnEr....

Upgrading Girlfriend to Wife

To: TechNICAL Support

Dear Sir,

Last year I upgraded my system from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began creating problems within the system processing and that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 2.3, Girlfriend 3.2 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the entire system whenever selected :(

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while running my other favorite applications. Whichever module or software I enter, only Wife 1.0 seems to run and nothing else.

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall from Wife 1.0 to Girlfriend 7.0 does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!!



Thanks,
-Rajeev

Reply from the Tech Support
To: Rajeev

Dear Rajeev,

This is a very common problem men users of the Wife 1.0 software complain about but it is mostly due to a primary misconception of the software.

Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.

Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed !!

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Worries Invited For Ever (Wife 1.0)".

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding general partnership faults (GPFs).

You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action to solve this major IT problem of yours will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.

In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.
Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend you to install the latest gift software like Flowers 2.1, Necklaces 3.2, and Chocolates 5.0.

note: Do not under any circumstances, install Secretary With Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application; in fact it is a deadly virus for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.


regards,
Amit.
=========================================

Upgrading BF to Husbnd

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0

and noticed a slow down in the performance of flower and jewellry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other
valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0.



Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running NAGGING 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I
do?



Desperate



***************************



Reply from the Tech Support
Dear Desperate,



First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.



Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2.
Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Television 6.1. Television 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Loud noises ( WAV files) and does not get deleted.

DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve performance. I

personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Cheerfulness 2.0.



Good Luck,
Tech Support

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Some OrkuT Tips :

Unban a member from a community :

Here are steps to unban a banned member!

1. Right click on any link (profile, scarpbook, etc) related to that banned person.

2. Press "Copy Link Location" (in firefox) or "Copy shortcut" in IE or similar option in ur browser!

3. Paste clipboard content in notepad! (or any text-editor)

4. Take only "uid" part!

i.e. for link
http://www.orkut.com/Profile.aspx?uid=8047825869783710708

uid is 8047825869783710708

5. Now copy following link to the notepad.

http://www.orkut.com/CommMemberManage.aspx?cmm=COMM_ID&uid=USER_ID

6. Replace COMM_ID by ur community id.

7. Replace USER_ID by above uid. (that u got in step 4)

8. Don't put any space between address of step 5 while editing in step 6 & 7.

9. Open this edited address in ur browser. (ofc ourse after logging into orkut)

10. You will get all options related to member management. Just press "unban from community".

Knowing Email ID of any profile on Orkut

# Ignore the person of whom you want to know the Email id.
# Open your Gtalk of the same account as Orkut.
# Go to Settings -> Blocked
# You can see the ignored person's email id.

Blank Scrap

1)Place the cursor in the text field.
2)Delete everything in the field.
3) Now, HOLD (Keep pressed) ALT key and press 0 1 7 3 (Press the numbers one after the another. Do not keep them pressed) on the NUMBER PAD (on the right side of the keyboard).
4) If you are using a laptop, just press in the text box.
5) Click SUBMIT.

Magical Moderator Adding

Grant him the Moderator Privileges , if that person is not a member of your community !!!

# Login to your Orkut Account.
# Go to your Owned Community, in which you want to add that Non member Moderator.
# Copy paste the following script in your address bar and hit enter.

. (Don’t forget to change the Community ID and the Profile ID)

javascript:a=document.forms[1]; a.action="CommMembers.aspx?cmm=COMMUNITY ID&Action.addModerator&memberId=PROFILE ID"; a.submit(); void(0)

INSTEaD OF COMMUNITY ID (puts the community u want 2 grant moderator privelage)

INSTEAD OF PROFILE ID (puts the guys profile id the last number and grant the member mod privelages)

Very Cool Trick For Orkut Users

Very Cool Trick For Orkut Users

Just check it out

Open the Link below ONLY AFTER you login to Orkut.

Here it is..

http://scrapout.googlepages.com/myorkut.html

Different format for ur name ,nickname....

Go to system tools in your system open accessories then character map there open for times new roman...there u will find all the possible fonts...
OR
Make Stylish Nick NamesClick here
http://www.orkutando.net/eng/generators/crazy_nick.php/
Type your nick and click on "Create", copy the result and paste it wherever you want to.

Multiple Log In Google-Talk

Right-click on the desktop

2. Select New

3. Select Shortcut

4. Paste this into the text box:
"c:\program files\google\google talk\googletalk.exe" /nomutex
(dont miss even a comma)

5. Click Next6. Name it whatever: Google Talk Multiple, etc.

8. Click OK until you are done.

( Source : Unknown )

Blinking orkut

Copy the following script and paste it in your address bar

javascript:i=0;c=["red","green","blue","yellow","magenta","orange","pink","violet"]; a=document.links;setInterval('i++;a[i % document.links.length].style.color=c[i % c.length]',10);void(0); alert("xmen_net ")

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Man Vs Woman IV : Haircut ~!!!

Women's version:

Woman1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me
the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too
fluffy looking?
Woman1: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my
hair cut like that, but I think my face is too
wide. I'm pretty much tuck with this stuff I think.
Woman2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable,
and you could easily get one of those layer
cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was
actually going to do that except that I was
afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your
neck! Anything to take attention away from this
two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.
Woman2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would
love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so
well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how
short they are? If I had your shoulders I could
get clothes to fit me so much easier.........


Men's version:

Man1: Haircut?

Man2: Yeah.

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THE IT INTERVIEW

THE IT INTERVIEW
(This imaginary interview is based on the common PJs and conceptions in
IT industry. By the way all the characters in it are fictitious and any
resemblence
to any living or dead is purely coincidental.)

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele communication
engineering from
BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
Int: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this
college before!

Candi: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission
into it.
What happened is - due to cricket worldcup I scored badly in 12th. I was
getting
a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him
'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money". (The baap actually said -
"I
will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college.
Frankly
speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a
Shetaki Mahavidyalaya. he he he...

Int: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your
engineering.

Cand: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know,
these
cricket matches and football worldcup, and tennis tournaments.. It is
difficult
to concentrate.. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 +
2
=
7 years.

Int: But 4+2 is 6.

Cand: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to
keep
this
in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect
exams
a
lot. I think they should ban it.

Int: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.

Can: No, no.. I am talking about Exams!!

Int: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

Can: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would
complete
it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for
me
in
BEST through some relative. (My moms's exact words were - "Melya, kiti divas
fukatache gilat basanar aahes?")

Int: Do you have any plans of higher study?

Can: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was
so much
of pain!!

Int: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you
worked?

Can: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current
platform.
Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can
see
I
have experience of different platforms!

Int: And which languages have you used?

Can: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German,
French,
Russian and many other languages he he he...

Int: Why VC is better than VB?

Can: It is a commom sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version
than
VB.
I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!

Int: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

Can: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our
ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Int: What is your general project experience?

Can: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they
are
in
pipeline!
Int: Can you tell me about your current job?

Can: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata Infotech ltd. Since joining BIL,
I am
on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another
software
like Windows he he he..

Int: Do you have any project management experience?

Can: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I
can
talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use
speaker
facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers',
'hotfixes', 'SEICMM', 'quality', 'version control', 'deadlines' ,
'Customer
Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!
Int: What are your expectations from our company?

Can: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have
deadlines.I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest wed off also, so as to avoid
breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term (preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But
considering the fact that there is a worldcup in South Africa in Feb 2003,
I don't mind going there in that period.
As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Int: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In
fact I was never entertained so much before. I request you not to apply in our
organization for next 100 years. After that we might consider you!!

The candidate still doesn't know why he was not selected.

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Sign in Invisible to Orkut / Facebook / to any other Social Networks

All You need to Sign in Invisible is :
MOZILLA FIREFOX ( THE BEST WEB BROWER IN THE WORLD, it is open source[Free] )

Ok so herz how u do it :
1.Open Mozilla n go in Tools.....then  Options
2. In main itself, select "show my windows n tabs from last time" in "When Firefox starts".
3.Now login to the social network (ORKUT, FACEBOOK ) you want for the first and last time.
4.Now after doing your work, make sure the social network's any page is open, and then close the Firefox.

Next time ( EVEN AFTER REBOOT ) when you open the firefox, that page would be displayed and thus skipped the login n hence others wouldn't get to know if you are online !!!

I recommended you to have a Separate Password Protected user of the OS (Windows Xp, Linux etc.)

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