THE IT INTERVIEW
(This imaginary interview is based on the common PJs and conceptions in
IT industry. By the way all the characters in it are fictitious and any
resemblence
to any living or dead is purely coincidental.)
Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele communication
engineering from
BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
Int: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this
college before!
Candi: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission
into it.
What happened is - due to cricket worldcup I scored badly in 12th. I was
getting
a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him
'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money". (The baap actually said -
"I
will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college.
Frankly
speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a
Shetaki Mahavidyalaya. he he he...
Int: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your
engineering.
Cand: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know,
these
cricket matches and football worldcup, and tennis tournaments.. It is
difficult
to concentrate.. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 +
2
=
7 years.
Int: But 4+2 is 6.
Cand: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to
keep
this
in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect
exams
a
lot. I think they should ban it.
Int: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Can: No, no.. I am talking about Exams!!
Int: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Can: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would
complete
it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for
me
in
BEST through some relative. (My moms's exact words were - "Melya, kiti divas
fukatache gilat basanar aahes?")
Int: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Can: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was
so much
of pain!!
Int: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you
worked?
Can: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current
platform.
Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can
see
I
have experience of different platforms!
Int: And which languages have you used?
Can: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German,
French,
Russian and many other languages he he he...
Int: Why VC is better than VB?
Can: It is a commom sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version
than
VB.
I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!
Int: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Can: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our
ministers and MPs use in assembly.
Int: What is your general project experience?
Can: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they
are
in
pipeline!
Int: Can you tell me about your current job?
Can: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata Infotech ltd. Since joining BIL,
I am
on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another
software
like Windows he he he..
Int: Do you have any project management experience?
Can: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I
can
talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use
speaker
facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers',
'hotfixes', 'SEICMM', 'quality', 'version control', 'deadlines' ,
'Customer
Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!
Int: What are your expectations from our company?
Can: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have
deadlines.I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest wed off also, so as to avoid
breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term (preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But
considering the fact that there is a worldcup in South Africa in Feb 2003,
I don't mind going there in that period.
As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?
Int: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In
fact I was never entertained so much before. I request you not to apply in our
organization for next 100 years. After that we might consider you!!
The candidate still doesn't know why he was not selected.
(This imaginary interview is based on the common PJs and conceptions in
IT industry. By the way all the characters in it are fictitious and any
resemblence
to any living or dead is purely coincidental.)
Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele communication
engineering from
BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
Int: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this
college before!
Candi: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission
into it.
What happened is - due to cricket worldcup I scored badly in 12th. I was
getting
a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him
'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money". (The baap actually said -
"I
will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college.
Frankly
speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a
Shetaki Mahavidyalaya. he he he...
Int: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your
engineering.
Cand: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know,
these
cricket matches and football worldcup, and tennis tournaments.. It is
difficult
to concentrate.. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 +
2
=
7 years.
Int: But 4+2 is 6.
Cand: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to
keep
this
in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect
exams
a
lot. I think they should ban it.
Int: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Can: No, no.. I am talking about Exams!!
Int: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Can: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would
complete
it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for
me
in
BEST through some relative. (My moms's exact words were - "Melya, kiti divas
fukatache gilat basanar aahes?")
Int: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Can: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was
so much
of pain!!
Int: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you
worked?
Can: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current
platform.
Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can
see
I
have experience of different platforms!
Int: And which languages have you used?
Can: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German,
French,
Russian and many other languages he he he...
Int: Why VC is better than VB?
Can: It is a commom sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version
than
VB.
I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!
Int: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Can: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our
ministers and MPs use in assembly.
Int: What is your general project experience?
Can: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they
are
in
pipeline!
Int: Can you tell me about your current job?
Can: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata Infotech ltd. Since joining BIL,
I am
on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another
software
like Windows he he he..
Int: Do you have any project management experience?
Can: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I
can
talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use
speaker
facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers',
'hotfixes', 'SEICMM', 'quality', 'version control', 'deadlines' ,
'Customer
Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!
Int: What are your expectations from our company?
Can: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have
deadlines.I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest wed off also, so as to avoid
breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term (preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But
considering the fact that there is a worldcup in South Africa in Feb 2003,
I don't mind going there in that period.
As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?
Int: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In
fact I was never entertained so much before. I request you not to apply in our
organization for next 100 years. After that we might consider you!!
The candidate still doesn't know why he was not selected.
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